My Journey

I'm on a journey which I believe will last for a very long time, perhaps the rest of my life. It's called "growth".

It will take me to places I've never been before. There will be people that I will meet for the first time ever that will influence me in ways that may change my life. There will be experiences that will shape my opinions, thoughts about life and what I do next.

This journey is mainly spiritual, although I am actually journeying to countries that I have never visited before and I am looking forward to this experience.

Part of this journey involves God gently calling me out of my safe place. It's where I usually hide when I feel insecure. It's a place where people won't notice if I make a mistake, say the wrong thing, do the "stupid" thing!

I don't very often seek the spotlight. I rather prefer to be in places where I am somewhat unnoticed. Again, a comfortable place to hide. God actually lives in this safe place with me. He is just asking me to "relocate" - to find a "bigger" place that we can live in together. I'm ok with that.

I feel this invitation to join His hand and go on an adventure with Him. And He knows just how to call me out of course - He knows what I will respond to, because He created me and it will be different from the way He calls others.

I think God wants others to see my heart, to see the giftings he has placed within me. A bit frightening sometimes and yet freeing at other times.

A quite confidence comes from being vulnerable. I'm more willing to trust that He has an eternal purpose in all of this. This is growth for me.

This fall will be a huge transition for me and my family. I am going to Mozambique in less than two weeks, my husband is presently in England with a great friend at a worship conference, and my daughter is leaving next weekend for a YWAM course for six months in Germany.

Besides all of that, I am studying at St. Stephen's University this semester, taking two courses in the ministry program.

Also, I am on this intense weight loss and work out program, mainly to be in good physical shape when I go to Mozambique.

In every area of my life I am being stretched.

Spiritually, I am coming into more freedom in Christ and at the same time, He is calling me to trust Him in a way I've never had to before. Physically, I am disciplining the body beyond its comfort, mentally I am trying to study again after 32 years out of school and emotionally, I am saying goodbye to my daughter Sandy, which may be hardest thing of all.

I am reminded of a white water rafting trip I took this summer with my family and a few other friends. My friend and I were hurled out of the raft in class five rapids, at the most dangerous part of the entire trip. This came immediately after I agreed to staying in the raft with the team (despite my fears).

The rapids swirled around me and submerged me several times. I tried as hard as I could to swim across them to the shore. At one point I realized I was not going to be able to make it to shore because the force of the river was pushing me down stream faster than I could swim across the rapids. I was in a crisis.

Fear did at one point consume me and I hollered out for help. As I turned my head, I realized another raft had anchored themselves in the middle of the river to rescue me as I was recklessly being pushed downstream.

Those in the second raft grabbed me and hauled me over the side of their raft. I was breathless for several moments my heart was pounding so fast. Surprisingly, there was no emotion on my part (probably because I was in shock!).

Obviously, I survived, my friend survived and I probably will never do white water rafting again, even though that was the second time I have gone.

But the picture has come back to my mind many times and I believe God will use it to speak to me about this journey I am on. There will be times that I will feel I am barely keeping my head above the water, my heart is racing and my strength is gone, yet I will be ok....God is there positioning himself in the midst of the crisis and has his arms outstretched ready to receive me and save me. I know that for sure.

He is my strength and my deliverer. My God in whom I trust.

My shoes are laced up, my bags are packed. I'm on my way travelling with an amazing companion and friend. He has much to teach me.

I'll let you know how the journey is going. I am sure I will never be the same!