Tonight

This evening was a beautiful evening to sit out on the front porch. A bit cool, but I wrapped myself in the warmth of a blanket and my husband grabbed his fleece prayer gown (the long hooded garment I made for him 15 years ago) and then we were all set. A wonderful way to end a late supper. Just the two of us and the night sky.

The darkness had not quite covered the sky - there were still remnants of dim light and silhouettes of buildings and people walking by.

We laughed out loud - at a phone conversation that was happening. Oh to be so free to laugh carelessly ...and reminisce - what a gift.

I recalled a moment about 40 years ago when I still lived at home with my parents. Oddly enough, it was looking out at the same sky from my upstairs bedroom window in Ontario, wondering who I would fall in love with, where I would end up, what I would do, praying and asking God to please let it happen quickly...I seemed so much in a hurry to live life back then.

And 40 years later, here I am. Sitting on my front porch with a man I deeply love...looking out at that same night sky and the street lights wondering what life will be like 10 years from now, maybe 15 years... maybe just 5 years from now. Realizing as I sit wrapped up tightly in my blanket, how fast life actually goes by. Now, I want life to slow down,... last longer...I don't want it to end or move so fast.

Realizing also, ... there is not much time left. Who knows? Well, of course, God does. I don't for sure. Yet, I must live as if life goes on and on. And it does. This life as we know it on earth, is only a small portion of what God has in store for us. There is so much more. Life eternal. Beyond "here". Beyond what we now feel, know, enjoy, participate in and treasure.

Yes, there is more. And that is Heaven. Heaven goes on and on. Heaven is what we experience that is "more" than "here". Heaven is complete. Ultimate. Extreme. Delightful. Engaging. Full. Forever.

I long for Heaven. But not now. Not for awhile. I want to live life to the fullest - experience more joy than ever before, laugh till it hurts with friends, cry when necessary, embrace tightly and say "I love you" so much that it becomes my signature phrase... I want to encourage, build up and launch others into their destiny, and support them in prayer and love along the way. I want to live generously - give generously, love generously .... spare nothing when it comes to expressing my love - I want to deepen my knowledge and understanding of this God that will not let me go... I need to know Him more fully and follow Him more carefully.

Big dreams. Big hopes. Deep prayers. Much to think about. But for tonight, I think only of the moment I have, right now, on my front porch, with laughter and love accompanying me.

This is all that matters.