"Ouch!"

I managed to somehow put my back out several days ago, the second injury of this sort in the last few months. The first day it happened, I could barely walk; bending down was out of the question and if I were to lay down, then getting up required the aid of a loved one to carefully and slowly pull me into positions because of the pinching pain I was experiencing.

One would think the second time around one would be used to the necessity of enlisting help. No. Not me. In fact, this time my injury occurred on a busy Easter weekend with the expectations of a big dinner and outings and everything else that goes with the celebration.

I am not very good at delegating. I confess. I am so used to doing it all and quite quickly, I may add, on my own. Is this a hint of "pride" raising it's ugly head?? Perhaps, and most likely. I've seen it modeled over and over again in my family of origin. I come from a strong family line of hard working folk that physically pushed themselves to the limit to "get things done" and I am no different. Hard work for me has always been my default. I'm good at it. I'm organized and I can get the job done. I'm also strong. Well, I used to be.... I am middle aged now - 53 years old and I just don't bounce back like I used to. And, honestly,... I really do not want to abuse my body like that anymore. I'm trying to pace myself now. I'm finding freedom in sitting and visiting and going for walks and meditating and leaving the chores and the things that need to be done for other times. The urgency of tasks in the moment has lost it's impact. Age has naturally seen to that.

So, the physical restraint on my body is in a way, a good thing. I need to ask others to do things for me. I need to ask for their help in the simple tasks of just getting up and sitting down, moving here and going there. I need to be patient with the way they do things.... it will not be as I would do them, of course, but even that does not matter. I'm being forced to "rest". A good thing, I think.

The gift of the "moment". The life, love, joy, pain, - all of it in the moment, is part of the gift. How we embrace the moments placed before us is the true act of becoming wise.

My back will get better. I'll soon forget I had any limitations at all. Let's hope the lessons of the last few days remain forever a part of the "wiser me".