Often times when we feel insecure or we've been wounded, our natural tendency is to recoil, retreat, put up our arms to protect ourselves and then hide away until we feel it's safe to venture out again.
As natural an impulse as this is, I believe that as Christians, we are to actually take a step closer - move towards the pain - seek to reconcile and forgive. Seek to embrace a new way to relate to the individual, finding a new way to love them.
Sometimes in our vulnerable and weak state we have more grace than we are aware of. This grace can be offered to the one who has hurt us and this simple act of humility can prevent walls from going up and separating us from our Christian brothers and sisters.
1 comment:
Dear Rob;
I am not a fast typer, but I had to reply. I like your blogging and it will be great for you and your journey to find yourself and God. I am pretty sure when you love yourself fully, you will discover God at a depth and fullness equal to the depth of knowledge and love of yourself. I really don't believe God is in the thinking - it is in the feeling. In the thinking it is too great to imagine - in the feeling it is so overwhelming that it takes more honesty and courage than most of us want to face. Anyway so much for my rant - I just wanted you to know I love where you are going - you feel like you are maturing and becoming wise. You feel more complete - fuller - if you will.
The real reason I am writing, Like Sandy I felt loneliness this Christmas. I know loneliness is a choice we make. I know we choose our emotions. I chose to miss my Mom - she was a major part of my Christmas. No sons for distractions - they were in Ontario. One evening while everyone was out, I turned on the Christmas Carols - mom's favorite - and laid down on the sofa with all the Christmas lights on and a warm drink. Then I felt this hole in my heart starting to affect my feelings of loneliness - which in turn went to my eyes and opened the water tap to self pity while wishing for something that I could not have - my Mom for Christmas!! I chose not to go there - self pity, or anybody else’s, is not for me. Mom doesn’t' want to see me crying, so I chose to apologize to Mom and God for not being truly grateful for all they have given me. Then I realized I could only feel this emptiness because I had always felt so full in their presence; then I became truly grateful for all they had given me. I started to laugh and shed tears of joy, reliving the many Christmases with Mom. I had the blessings of a loving Mom and God for 57 years and could choose to enjoy these memories. I don't think I would have gone to such a good place if I didn't choose to see the situation and feelings differently. It was a blessing for me to be alone with myself - to be able to reflect on the grace I have received and yes the wonderful feelings of missing love. I reflected on how great a lover my mother was and I was going to choose to love in her powerful forgiving way. I won't bore you with the details and it is going to take Re time to type this but I assure you the pain that Sandy was carrying was her choice and she will choose to grow from this. I will talk to you soon.
Love Dave
Post a Comment