Sunday, May 25, 2008

Loving my God

Lord bless my feeble attempts at trying to "get it right"
There are just some things I do not do so well.

I desire to become the best I could possibly be
in only one thing that matters most to me -
and that is in loving you.

Let me love you more deeply every day you give me breath to live
Let me love you more passionately when I embrace the ones dearest to me
Let me love you more sacrificially when I remember your sacrifice on the cross
Let me love you more profoundly when I get a glimpse of how big you really are
Let me love you forever without hesitancy.

Bless my every attempt at loving you.
Let it be the best that I can offer you.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Wash Day

Sounds of water splashing and turning, gurgling and spitting
suds forming and disappearing
fabric soaked, squeezed, twisted, spun
dirt removed...
smells of clean, fresh clothes.

Such a rigorous process to make what's filthy become clean
and required on such a regular basis.

Makes me realize how important the necessary and routine
cleaning of my soul is day after day.

It gets dirty too.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

A Mother's Day Gift to My Children

I was blessed today to spend the day with my husband, my three children and my son-in-law.

Knowing that our paths are again taking different directions, and we may not be together again as a complete family for several months, I treasure these times and hide them away as memorable events.

Even though it is Mother's Day, a day set apart to honour and respect the mothers in this world, I wish to focus my attention on my children and give them a gift this day.

In so many ways they have been the "teacher" and I the "student". It has been their unique personalities and creative giftings that have shaped my journey as their "mom". They have taught me about unconditional love, they have shown me what perseverance looks like, they have given me joy and sheer delight when I didn't think I could laugh again.

So today, I salute my children for their continued belief in me - their expressions of love towards me when it wasn't deserved, their patience with me in struggling to understand them - their forgiveness extended to me when I embarrassed them in front of their friends, and mostly when I made the wrong call about a situation - I just happened to get it "all wrong".

I am blessed to have them - to know them - to watch them grow and develop and become their own person - and to see that change year after year. I thank them for making me able to laugh at myself and not take myself too seriously.

I thank Sandy particularly for pulling me out on the dance floor the very first time and then discovering I loved to dance! I thank Bill for bursting out of the box to make his own way, when I kept trying to put him in all the time - over time Bill, I finally figured out who you were and let you be that. I thank Jodi for the times she played the piano and ushered me in the "holy of holies" and there I met God in worship.

So many wonderful memories to recall - and they are all because of my children - so today, this Mother's Day, I honour Jodi, Sandy and Billy. It's been a tremendous privilege to be their "mom". They are everything to me and I love them with all my heart.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

A Small Prayer

OPEN my understanding to these newly birthed thoughts

HIDE them in the recesses of my heart

RECALL them when they need to be shared, given away, used to influence

Give me PATIENCE to wait for all this --

Your TIMING is everything, your PROCESS


Friday, May 9, 2008

Take me and make me new again

Take my feeble efforts - my weak offerings - my heavy heart,
and make it a worthy gift that honours you.

Take my empty heart, my wounded heart, my lost heart,
and let it pulse again with your renewed strength, love and power.

Take all of me - just as I am - sinful and dying
and bring life.

Bless this little life

Bless the little life that is being fashioned within my daughter's womb.
Bless the heart that will one day understand love.
Bless the mind that will one day understand who God is.
Bless the hands that will one day be raised to worship him.
Bless the feet that will one day take steps towards righteousness.
Bless the mouth that will one day praise his name.

Breathe, oh God, your divine presence into this little wonder of yours.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Big God I serve

Recently, I watched a video entitled "Indescribable". It blew me away! (as they say)

I saw actual photos of one of the thousands of galaxies in our universe; gazed upon millions of tiny dots that represent stars; tried to grasp the enormous size of the sun .... my whole understanding of how big space actually is, how big the God who created it all is, and how small our little planet earth seems in the corporate picture.

I was speechless, moved to tears. I had no "container" with which to hold this new information of the God who loves me. I was overwhelmed and humbled at his majesty, his power, his beauty, his creativity, his size. My "god-view" exploded and expanded that night...all previous notions of how big he was shattered into a million pieces. Something changed inside me about how I now "see" him and I will never be the same.

Then God dropped a "nugget" into my soul which still makes my head dizzy.

"Robyn, my Love matches my size."